This concept has been all over my heart the last couple weeks and I want to share that with you. God's love is extravagant. What in the world does that even mean?
You know, I'm not exactly sure. It's so big and my concept of love and extravagance is so small that it's limiting my understanding. But I'll share what I've come up with in the last month. :)
This is a process of me being introspective, mostly about my past. Like you, I've made what you could consider to be a fair amount of mistakes (and by 'fair amount' I mean a lot). I get really hung up on those stupid things even though they are in the past and get into a cycle of - I can't believe I did that, if anyone finds out what I did they won't want me, I don't know why God still wants me knowing all that dirt in my past. Everything about our culture and my human nature says - because you did 'x,' you now have to suffer 'y' as the consequences. For me that 'y' is someone hearing my dirt and thinking it would be a much better idea to exclude me from their life.
My guess is that some of you have experienced that exact phenomenon (I certainly have) of being abandoned or phased out of someones life (a significant other, parent, friend, etc.) after you disclosed something about yourself. That hurts. And that's where I get hung up on - God loving me even knowing all those terrible things about me! He doesn't hold up to the norm, He doesn't abandon or reject me because he loves me, and that exceeds what is reasonable in my mind. Like, whaaaat? WHY.
And here's the part that really just blows my mind - is there's more outside of that whole forgiving me, overlooking my past and my shame and all that. I catch myself all the time looking at me as a project and start thinking God must see me like that too, like He's sitting around watching me, taking notes and thinking - "Hm, here's how we can improve this and then we can try and fix that." He doesn't sit around focusing on 'fixing' me, like I sometimes do. He just wants to relationship with me! WHAT? Why would you want to spend time just hanging out with me?!So anyway, there's not really a huge point to this post except to say that relationship is neat. And awesome. I like to be all sneaky and have date nights with just me and God where I can silence my phone and be away and alone from the world and just be with God. I've created a little nest next to my bed and I've got these super cute Christmas lights I turn on so it's just me in a little Christmas light, blanket-nest world (and sometimes my house-slippers) and I turn on this song - Your Love is Extravagant - and just bask in it. It's actually sort of becoming a problem (not really, but almost) because I've passed out on my floor a couple times whilst basking, it was just so enjoyable in my little
blanket nest of lovely wonderfulness.
Anyway, I strongly encourage blanket nest worship (coffee adds an extra-special touch - especially pumpkin or cinnamon flavors) and spending time reveling in the extravagance of God's love. Don't sit in your nest and reflect on all the things you've done wrong and pray - "Oh, please fix this" - you can do that, but for 15 minutes just bask in being loved extravagantly and pray for God to speak to your heart more about what that really means.
**This version is by The Almost (whom I love), but for those of you who like a little more spontaneous, even quieter worship music, I think this version is even more romantic-y feeling. Your Love is Extravagant - Darrell Evans.
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