Let's Talk About S-E-X

This is just a guess, but seeing the title of this blog post probably evoked a lot of different reactions from all of y'all (I've provided some gifs to the right that might help you identify how you feel). That's okay - talking about sex does that to people. Depending on a lot of things - how you were raised, what you believe, your personal experiences - there's a whole gamete of influence on how you feel about all things sexual.

I minor in Women's and Gender Studies and Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender/Queer Sexuality Studies so I talk about and study a lot of these things...a lot. Here is what I'm finding out more and more about Christians - we do not talk about sexuality or sex very much and if we do, it's usually super, super awkward. You may or may not have heard at this point in your lives about "The Feminist Pespective." Many of you probably cringe or roll your eyes and mutter "feminists" under your breath which I accept. I'm a feminist, a Christian, and also someone very interested in sex and sexuality.

Hold up, girl say what?!

If you are a mom (I know my mom reads these, soooo...), a dad, an adult, a youngster in your teens or a mid-adult in your twenty-somethings, some of you were just like, you can't talk about this! It is not okay to talk about these things! Others of you were thinking that an intersection between being a Christian means you can't like sex or anything sexual.

Calm down and stop jumping to conclusions and judgments and what-have-yous. This blog isn't going into too much depth yet, look at this as a preview of posts to come.

I'm trying to lay some basic ground work with you and open up your thoughts and maybe even some conversations.  Here's what I'd like to introduce you to right now, maybe these are new ideas, maybe not. Just consider them:

1. Sex is not a bad thing.

2. God created sex as something to be enjoyed, something pleasurable.

3. He also created boundaries for sex, because like any good thing, sex can also be used in the wrong way and there are consequences for that.

That's a good start to think about.

If you are a young women (men I would speak to you, but you aren't really my specialty so I'm going to leave that to another man) I want to say this to you:'

I am sorry that you are growing up in a culture that tells you that you need to be sexy and that a lot of your value comes from that. I am sorry that you walk down streets and men think it is okay to whistle at you, stare at you, or make other comments about your body. I am sorry that you have been told to "remain pure" with an unspoken threat of - "because if you don't and you blow it, you aren't valuable anymore, you are damaged goods." I want you to know that sex does not determine your worth. Your past and present do not determine it, neither does your future. You have already been given value of indeterminable worth by Jesus Christ and nothing you have done, are doing, or will do tarnishes that value. EVER. I'm sorry that you are immersed in a culture that raises you to present yourself as a sexual object and then that same culture criticizes you and attaches labels like "slut" if you conform to those standards or expects you to walk away unharmed in a world where sex is treated as casual. You have been lied to, wounded, and I want you to know that there is more and this is not how God designed you to be treated. There is more. We will talk about this more because YOU NEED TO KNOW because NO ONE HAS TOLD YOU.

Alright! Groundwork laid! If that has your interest piqued and your heart primed to read more, here's a couple resources I'm working through that are helpful for me to understand what I'm going to try and write about more. Especially if you read this and are thinking - not another purity talk, it's a little late for me now - you really need to hear this.

Here's an excellent book:

Sex and the Soul of a Woman
- Paula Rinehart

Fact: My Dad gave my older sister and I this book three or four years ago and said he would pay us each $100 to read it and talk about it with him. I have not read it until about a week ago, so Dad, get ready to pay up. :)

Also I love the book but want to throw up on the cover.

These three conference sessions are SO GOOD. Especially if you have been exposed to feminism, gender roles, etc. You will love this. There are three talks about an hour or so long and they are SO. GOOD. 

 Click here to listen to Radical Womanhood provided by Coram Deo Church in Omaha, NE.