Ruach, Reflections Part One

I should probably start this out with a disclaimer: I do not have any type of theology background, I avoided history classes like the plague. I am exactly NOT a Biblical scholar in any way, shape or form. All I have is a legitimate God who does bestow wisdom, so if you hear something that sounds as such, please recognize that it does not come from me.

If you're reading - welcome back! Sorry it's been awhile but if I'm not feeling moved to write I don't force it (Mrs. Zach, you'll be pleased to know I have an idea cooking for a book!). The last few months has fallen into a pattern of blah. I'm willing to bet I'm not the only person who struggles with apathy; maybe I'll write more about that soon, but not today.

Today I'm thinking about the Holy Spirit. If you have ever thought these questions:

"What if there isn't actually a God?"
"What if I got 'it' wrong?"
"What if all along I've been having this elaborate conversation with just myself?"

Good! You are not alone! Those are some of the thoughts I've been battling alongside some serious apathy so at least you and I are in this together. Solidarity, and all that. The last couple months have been a battle with those exact questions. If you're looking for a verse or some concrete, short, definitive answer - I am really sorry, but I do not have one for you. Trust me, I wish I did - I love bullet points and I would love to give you three to answer all those questions. I understand it's really hard to use your brain for yourself; life is hard, friend.

Here's what I've determined thus far:

1. I think that it's possible to idolize the Bible to the point that it is regarded as the only means to get answers about everything.

2. The Holy Spirit is a real thing.

3. The God I believe in (even though I doubt sometimes) has patience and grace for me to fight with these questions. Honestly, my doubts do not effect the existence of God whether he does exist or not.


Super deep, right? I told you I was a theologian - feel free to start calling me C.S. Lewis. I'm learning there is a lot more going on in this whole 'God thing' than 'the church' has led me to believe. And you want to know why? Because I let myself agree that all there was to the 'God thing' was reading your Bible, going to church and praying regularly; I determined that relationship could be understood and bullet-pointed into little logical steps.

If I've learned anything from the relationships I've been in, it's that if you assume you know everything about both people, you will never learn anything; you will simply create a complicated perception of yourself and that other person based on just that - perception. Not reality. To really have a relationship you have to be engaged with that other person. You speak to each other, you can't learn from the other if you never talk or interact.