RE: UNL Crushes

Image courtesy of Kaylee Kristen Mercedes Reimers

For those regulars out there who don't attend UNL, you probably have no clue what UNL Crushes is. In a nutshell, it is a facebook group that popped up on 3/28/13 and is run by an anonymous administrator. Anyone is invited to send the admin a message on facebook detailing a person they have a "crush" on and it is then posted onto the page for the world to view.

Now, when I discovered the page I thought it was pretty amusing and predicted the pages demise from popularity within the week. However, the page has become wildly popular overnight - with constant updates every couple minutes, it caters to our young cultures thirst for the constant and instant gratification of knowing intimate details about lots of people. Especially when those details are about people that they personally know.

The posts range from cute little confessions of interest to far more sexually graphic ones and are all deemed "acceptable" by the administrator to post these "crushes" from anonymous facebook users.

There are some questions that come up:

1. What qualifies as "acceptable" for the admin. to post? Censorship has been discussed as sexually graphic posts (considered by some to be objectifying) and the admin. has stated that:

While I agree that a good amount of the posts are fairly graphic and sexual in nature, there are no rules (as of yet) as to what is acceptable and what isn't for posting.

2. This leads to another question of intention and interpretation. What one person submits that may seem flattering to them (intention) may come across to the "crush" in an entirely different way (interpretation). What one may consider harmless, cute and flirty could come across very offensive, degrading and objectifying to the receiving party.

Disclaimer: I do think that viewers have the power to a) not submit crushes at all as well as b) not looking at the page to avoid the possibility of discomfort. However, most people who have wound up on UNL Crushes are informed about it whether they see the actual post or not.

3. The admin. is anonymous. While students are curious as to the gender of the administrator, I think there are some areas of concern that should be addressed. The person running UNL Crushes is receiving some pretty personal details and all the messages they receive DO have names, even though to everyone else viewing the page they are anonymous people. There was one woman in specific who gave very descriptive details of herself (exact time/location she would be, as well as what she was wearing) in the name of looking for someone she wanted to meet via UNL Crushes. Does anyone else see a potential safety hazard with one person receiving that kind of specific information? While I think the admin. is probably a student just having some fun, because they have anonymity they do hold some kind of power and information that could be used in a harmful way. Being anonymous also gives the admin. the ability to facilitate what is and is not deemed appropriate for the content available for viewing.


At this point, you might be asking a question of your own: WHY are you blogging about this? 

The answer is: I was on UNL Crushes. I was "Crushed," if you will. I'm currently taking a class about sexuality and the internet and one of the days we had a discussion similar to this - who has power, who gets to decide what's right/wrong, appropriate/not appropriate, and who should address these concerns when they come up. 

What I said was - if you feel something is right or wrong, it isn't so much up to the administrator to  "fix it." I think that if I have a problem with something going on in the world or on a facebook page, it isn't so much the responsibility of facebook to be an all-monitoring moderator. After all, facebook is run by humans and who says they get to be the determinant factor for "right/wrong" anyway?  So here is what I am doing: I am raising awareness. I can't tell people what is okay and not okay to post - for a lot of people, we have different perceptions and life experiences that shape those views for us. What I can do is give people ideas to take into consideration (see 1,2, and 3) in relation to their own lives and how they are affected and can affect others.

So - in RE: UNL Crushes

Dear Mr. Funny:

I thank you for your flattery, although I would have much appreciated you simply telling me that without facebook. The compliments I've received that are the most meaningful are ones that are genuine. How do I know they were genuine? They were important and meaningful enough for people to look me in the eye and tell me face-to-face. I think facebook and a lot of the internet has made it too easy to use words and because of that, a lot of words have lost their meaning. My guess is you are a great and wonderful guy, and because of that, I hope that when the next amazing girl who tugs at your heartstrings comes along, you remember this (if you see it) and tell her straight up - "You have a wonderful smile, you make me laugh, I think you are beautiful, I admire _________ about you" - whatever it is. Regardless of whether you have a shot with her or not - being genuine never goes out of style.

Sincerely,

Miss Hannah Crabtree