Typical interpretations of what being put in the "friend zone" signifies:
1. The person obviously has no romantic interest in you
2. The person probably doesn't even want to be friends with you
3. If #2 is incorrect, it's probably only because they are trying to be nice to you because they feel bad about #1
4. Friend zone = rejection
Sometimes I like to humor myself by telling my ego that I have "original thoughts and ideas," sometimes I get fancy and use big kid words like "concepts" instead of "ideas" and have "orginal thoughts and concepts." Anyway, my "original thought" on this matter was this:
I propose that the "friend zone" is similar to a "construction zone."
The likelihood of everyone who has ever driven at all and running into construction at some point is pretty high. Assuming everyone is like me, we all hate construction. I already have some serious road rage and when you throw in a reduced speed limit (55, are you kidding me?!), lots of orange cones and flashing lights, and then tell me on top of that:
I get so angry. And impatient. Before long I'm just spitting rage - "Why is this construction taking so long? I JUST WANT TO GET WHERE I'M GOING NOW."
If you can't see the analogy coming at this point, I don't know how to help you. Through my "original thinking" I started thinking that a "friend zone" is just a place between two points:
At this point, it's time to get a little more abstract with the thougthts. Literally any type of zone can go in the middle place, and literally anything could be the point before the zone and the point following it. It doesn't have to be a relationship it could be the transition from high school to college, from college to a job, or a move across the country, whatever. The facts are you are going to start somewhere and eventually change (I prefer the word 'transition' because it sounds less painful) is going to happen for awhile, then you will adapt and grow out of that transition/zone/whatever you prefer to call it and you will be at the next point. Whether it's in a relationship where you start out liking someone, get "friend zoned" and then your final point is eventually it works out between you or the two of you eventually move on with your lives.
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| HOW I FEEL ABOUT CHANGE |
In order for something better to happen (let's be honest, even though we hate construction, we hate crappy roads MORE.) and for personal growth and change in general to happen, there will always be these "construction zones." Who says that "construction zones" are a bad thing? I personally think that growth is a good thing and the facts are that every time you go through some "zone" in your life, you are growing. True growth takes times - plants don't grow overnight, wounds don't heal in five minutes, relationships are created in the span of one conversation, etc.
This stuff has been on my mind more and more as the days towards the end of the semester a.k.a. I get kicked out of the dorm draw ever closer. I'm good at a lot of things but I wouldn't really say that "change" is one of them. I've decided this is because I like to have control and a plan for everything. I don't consider myself a huge fan of most surprises because it means I don't have control over something that affects me.
At this point you might be asking - "What are you doing after you get kicked out of the dorm?
That is an excellent question! At this point I have literally no plans at all. This is me right now:
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| Did I mention I bought an IPhone yesterday? So that's new. |
I currently have no house or alternate place of residence, no job plans, no life in general plans from the point of my exit into Summer. And yes it is driving me crazy having the rest of my life (Over-dramatic? Yes.) being one giant un-known. BUT. I'm in a "transition zone." I'm trusting that God is continuing to work on the "road" of my life and isn't going to leave me stranded in the middle of nowhere forever. Working through this transition of having to relinquish control and trust God to be my only roadside assistance is a period of growing for me.
For those of you who read this and went - "Oh my gosh, I'm totally in one of those "zones" right now!" Congratulations! That means you aren't living a static life and change is on it's way. Embrace the feelings of terror, excitement, or the combination of the two - nervous energy - and hang in there because all zones come to an end sometime.
Some just take a little longer than others.
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