Cellulite

I don't know whose legs these are.
Got this from the Pinterest.

Until I discovered Pinterest, I am going to be honest - I had heard the word 'cellulite' before and knew it was something women hated but I didn't actually know what it was. Until I created a fitness board on the Pinterest for workout ideas and suddenly my whole Pinterest feed was full and overflowing  with a hundred and one ways to get rid of 'that ugly cellulite.'  I'm thinking - "what is this?!" It really got me thinking that some women spend a huge portion of their day worrying that they have cellulite, that people are looking at it, and that this is going to make them think they are ugly or something. Of course after figuring out what the 'dreaded cellulite' was, I eventually noticed I might have a little bit of it going on myself.

Cellulite is natural. I did a Google search that you can check out here - you don't die from it. It happens after women hit puberty so essentially what is happening is girls in their late teens through the 20's, 30's and the rest of their lives are looking at this change in their skin and viewing it as something horrible and ugly. It's like gaining weight as you get older - your body is actually supposed to grow, hips and other parts of men and women's bodies GROW. Hair grays, smile lines grow. It's natural, it is normal.

I want to age gracefully - embrace gray hair when it shows up a few decades from now and accept the wrinkles, the sagging skin and all the things that come with growing old. My skin will show the wear and tear of a thousand days spent outside soaking up the sun, playing tag, mowing the lawn - making memories. My body will be a walking museum that I will carry on my skin with pride, no matter how others choose to view those exhibits.

I'm skirting around what's really up with me today.  I'll be honest - I am having a bad day. I didn't really sleep last night too much and I woke up several times, I was here at work by 6:15 (AM), I've already worked a 50+ hour week and I'm going to be here until at least five tonight. I'm exhausted and my heart hurts. Last night something happens and suffice it to say...I'm really sad right now.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalm 34:18

That verse is my solace for the moment, that and:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." - Jesus  (as quoted in Joshua 1:9)

This might come out sounding a little bit silly, but it's what my tired mind is putting together today. My heart is hurting as a result of things that have happened as time passed. I like to avoid pain and heartache for that exact reason - because it is painful and makes me feel bad. But to me, it's like cellulite. My heart is no longer in the perfect condiiton it was in when I was born, you know? I have cellulite of the heart, if you will.

I want to view all that heartache and pain and things that my heart goes through with grace - both for the heartache I've inflicted on myself and on others as well as any that others have brought to me. Part of life is that hard things happen but that doesn't make my heart any less beautiful, just like cellulite doesn't make a person any less beautriful. Heartache is normal, just like cellulite. It comes as a collection of time and experiences, of life being lived. Right now I'm just trying to get myself through today trying to accept my heart in the condition it is by giving myself grace to accept it the way that it is - cellulite and all.

My heart is a museum of the life that I have lived - it is a collection of joys as well as a record of the scars life has left behind and I don't want a museum without the whole story.

I accept you, cellulite. Bumps and all.