Henry the Human: The Boy from Out of this World

If you haven't seen Martian Child, you should watch it. :)

 Today I met a 10 year old - Henry - who profoundly impacted me.

His Grandma was looking for a campus map and I happened to be venturing by and offered my assistance. While escorting them to a map, I noticed that her grandson, Henry, was wearing a NASA t-shirt. Because I'm intrigued by space I asked him about it.

Henry knew a lot about space. I heard more intelligence come out of that boys mouth in the span of 12 minutes than I have from a multitude of professors in three years of college lectures. We talked about space exploration, different gizmos that NASA has created, the difference in liquid versus solid fuel in rockets and the purpose they served, black holes, and CERN's particle accelerator (one of my favorite things in the world!).

That might not sound super typical of a 10 year old boy, and my suspicions that he was autistic were confirmed by his Grandma.

"He has Asperger's, but his IQ is 136." - she whispered to me.

For those of you who know what Asperger's is, it's a form of autism that is not really going to be an existing diagnosis after the next DSM comes out. The Psychology major in me was compelled to tell you that.

In case psychology tests and IQ never came up to you before, let me give you a quick lesson on the two main tests and what the range is and the numbers mean.

1. The Weschler Scale uses a series of intelligence tests to distinguish between different types of intelligence (creative, practical, analytical - Sternberg's Triarchic Theory of Human Intelligence) and is the most widely used IQ test. The IQ (Intelligence Quotient) range is used as follows:

130 +         Gifted
120-129      High
110-119      High Average
90-109        Average
80-89          Low Average
70-79         Borderline
Below 69    Extremely Low

2. The Stanford-Binet is the best intelligence test for predicting future academic achievement. IQ range is as follows:

145 +           Genius
120-144       High Above Average
110-119       Above Average
90-109         Average or Normal
80-89           Dull Normal
70-79           Borderline Deficiency/Mild Disability
50-69           Moderate Disability

**for more information on IQ ranges, click here.

I knew from taking enough Psych courses at this point in my life that a 139 IQ for anyone, let alone a 10 year old was a pretty....not exactly average, thing. And I had guessed about the Asperger's/Autism thing because Henry had a subtle, but consistent hand-flap gesture he made whenever he spoke to me.

All those things aside, here is what most profoundly impacted me out of our short interaction together. After walking Henry and his Grandma to the front doors, I shook his hand and looked him in the eyes and said - "Henry, it was my pleasure to meet you and talk to you. I want you to learn at least an extra six things for me today."

After agreeing, Henry said one more thing, speaking as though these types of casual thoughts had just stumbled into his brain and tumbled out through his mouth. Looking back on today's events with DOMA and Prop 8, I couldn't have thought of a more fitting way to say what Henry did in a few seconds myself.

"You know, humans are pretty awesome."

I agreed.

"No, I mean, humans are amazing. I don't know why they use labels. I have Asperger's, but you wouldn't have known that unless I just told you. I think that humans shouldn't use labels, because we are, well, we're all still...humans."

Then Henry walked down the steps, through the revolving door, out of my life and into my blog and heart and I hope a few of yours as well.

Divine Romance

The palm trees of Nebraska :)

I've decided I like being romanced.

I've also decided my idea of romance involves a lot of being quiet and enjoying but it also involves being active while enjoying something as well.

Turns out the more time I spend in it, the more I quite like nature and am taken with it's natural beauty. My favorite time of day is when the sun is coming up and going down and after the sun is down but it's still light out. The world is a calmer, slower, quieter place. And it isn't blisteringly hot like the rest of the day is guaranteed to have been if you live in Nebraska.

I'm reading "Captivated" by John & Stasi Eldredge and it is slow going, not because it is boring, but because there is so much I want to take in I have to read it in little parts, underline, think about it, journal, re-read, and re-think. I'm really enjoying the book and the process that I've turned it in to so not surprisingly I'm only in to Chapter 2 - What Eve Alone Can Tell.

If being surrounded by thousands of roses doesn't say romance...

The half of the chapter I have been through so far is about beauty and how that ties in specifically with women and our role in God's world. I can't explain how much this whole book ties in so perfectly with what my heart has been yearning to hear. Also how God has made women so beautifully in the way we create relationships with others.

Anyway I was re-inspired by my friend Caleb who is off living an adventure filled life around Virginia Beach, serving God and serving anyone else who shows up, when he sent out a mass text of a sunrise over the water. I was a little jealous - I love the beach, I love the sun coming up, and I love Jesus and like chilling with Him watching beautiful things. I've also recently had a lot of empty space in my life where a boyfriend used to be and it's hard to find other things to fill that void, but I'm convinced God can fill that hole and offer me more than enough love, adventure and romance if I seek Him out.

"Divine Romance" by Phil Wickham is how
I feel when I'm on a date with God

So I've been going out around the town in search of beautiful new date spots for me and that Jesus guy. Clearly I didn't need a beach or need to go somewhere to experience God's glory in nature. These are from two spots I went to this past week - the Sunken Gardens and Veterans Garden and some random cemetery I found out in the country.

Admittedly, not everyone might find being alone in a cemetery while the sun goes down romantic, but it was so peaceful and beautiful that I really enjoyed it and plan on going back! If I can find it again...

I can't explain how amazing it feels to be romanced by God. Someone who knows my heart so thoroughly He knows everything that makes me smile - from a breeze through my hair to the loud music I like to sing along with everywhere I drive. :) While I was relaxing in the gardens, I was journaling and what came out was a semblance of a love letter - secretly in addition to being an avid blogger and journaler, I have a little bit of poet trapped in my little artsy soul. I'm going to share a little bit of this with you to hopefully give you a glimpse of a God who loves you as your Father, but also as a lover and pursuer of your heart.

"I'm feeling so thankful for your painters pallet of ceaseless color combinations. You paint the seasons with your magical fingertips - you've brushed the sky an ombre shade of the palest of blues, grays, pinks and white. Golden clouds and an orange sky are all that's left as Your glorious sun fall downs behind the trees where I can no longer see it - but like You, I know it is still there. I can see the moon coming up while the sun is going down and I'm reminded that you've cast my sins as far as the East is from the West. You've created this moment specifically for me - from the taste of wine still on my lips to the softest-looking of fur on the rabbit hopping mere feet in front of me to the ants crossing the vast plane of the concrete sidewalk I'm  resting my bare feet on. It's still warm with the remnants of the sun's kisses.

I feel treasured, I feel loved. I feel wanted, planned for. The wind in the trees causes a rustling whisper, like a voice saying to my heart - "Hush, be still. Enjoy me and being with me in my presence, for I enjoy being with you, my love, my most dearly beloved." 

Like I said, I was feeling a little poetic, cheesy as any of that may sound. What I really want you to take away with you and think about the next time you recognize a beautiful moment you are experiencing - I want you to know that the moment was created for you - planned for you before you were even here on this Earth.

In Jeremiah, God has to tell this guy <Jeremiah> to go do stuff and Jeremiah freaks out a little bit because he is pretty convinced he is under-qualified to do God's bidding, but God tells him - 

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, 
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." 

Jeremiah 1:5

What I love about that verse is that God knew and wanted Jeremiah to know that God has known him, everything about him, from the dawn of time and the same holds true for all of us. God has known us and known us thoroughly, deeply, before we even knew we existed.The same reassurance - that we, that I was planned for before the Earth was created speaks to me so deeply of my value and God's desire to love and be loved by me and walk in relationship with me - also jumps out at me in Ephesians -

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight" - 

Ephesians 1:4

I think there's a couple more verses that are pretty similar, you can Google it, but I am so excited about discovering this romantic and beautiful side of God that I wanted to share it with you. Another example is currently happening right now - I'm writing about this man that I love while I enjoy a glass of wine and delicious Comte cheese on fresh bread.

  Heavenly. 

Half a Latte: When My Glass is Literally Half-Empty

"Do you see the glass as half-empty of half-full?"

The age old question about life perspective. I'm getting a lesson in that this morning. Last night I went out with some girlfriends for a couple drinks and one turned out to be a little stronger than I thought so consequently, this morning I am exhausted and dragging.

As with any slow morning (well...every morning, really) I went and got a cup of coffee. I've gradually made friends with the woman who makes my coffee at Starbucks. Initially I didn't like her - she came off a little rude at the start and to be honest, the drinks are not very good. Anyway, a story for another time, but I decided to change my perspective and try and befriend her beyond being a customer - it's going well. However this morning, when I really, really needed the coffee (grande) I got the cup and it was litterally half empty and the rest was foam.

The answer to "half-empty or half-full" I've decided, is that if the glass literally starts at the half-way mark then it is half-empty because it was never full to begin with. Besides the point, I wanted to complain because I wanted all my coffee! I'm having a rough morning, I'm still pretty heartbroken this week and I needed some soul-southing java.

I'm not real dramatic about the emotions I share with people I would rather experience those alone in my room or whenever people aren't around, so I like to make dramatic music playlists to listen to to express how I feel. One of the songs that I've been listening to jumped out at me at this moment of deciding whether I should complain about the coffee or not. It's called "Strangely Dim" by Francesca Batistelli, and the lines that came to my head were -

When I fix my eyes on all that You are
Then every doubt I feel
Deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
All my worries fade
And fall to the ground
Cause when I seek Your face
And don't look around
Any place I'm in
Grows strangely dim

That helped a little bit with my perspective - I'm still tired and still only have a half cup of coffee, but now that I'm focusing on God getting a full cup of coffee suddenly doesn't seem that important. This other line from "It's Your Life," also by Francesca Batistelli -

It's your life
What you gonna do?
The world is watching you
Every day the choices you make
Say what you are and who
Your heart beats for
It's an open door

Even though I'm having a rough day (or week) my actions and how I respond to and treat people regardless of that is going to say a lot more about me and about who and what I believe in than a blog post ever could.

The woman who made my coffee, because I've made the effort to get to know her I knew that she was trying to buy something she had been waiting for for a long, long time and that the reason she may have made my coffee not very well this morning was because she was flustered trying to make her purchase and having to juggle a hectic morning of customers.  

So I decided I didn't need to have my mug all the way full. I can survive on a half-empty glass and God can fill it the rest of the way full.


Happy hump day. :)

Cellulite

I don't know whose legs these are.
Got this from the Pinterest.

Until I discovered Pinterest, I am going to be honest - I had heard the word 'cellulite' before and knew it was something women hated but I didn't actually know what it was. Until I created a fitness board on the Pinterest for workout ideas and suddenly my whole Pinterest feed was full and overflowing  with a hundred and one ways to get rid of 'that ugly cellulite.'  I'm thinking - "what is this?!" It really got me thinking that some women spend a huge portion of their day worrying that they have cellulite, that people are looking at it, and that this is going to make them think they are ugly or something. Of course after figuring out what the 'dreaded cellulite' was, I eventually noticed I might have a little bit of it going on myself.

Cellulite is natural. I did a Google search that you can check out here - you don't die from it. It happens after women hit puberty so essentially what is happening is girls in their late teens through the 20's, 30's and the rest of their lives are looking at this change in their skin and viewing it as something horrible and ugly. It's like gaining weight as you get older - your body is actually supposed to grow, hips and other parts of men and women's bodies GROW. Hair grays, smile lines grow. It's natural, it is normal.

I want to age gracefully - embrace gray hair when it shows up a few decades from now and accept the wrinkles, the sagging skin and all the things that come with growing old. My skin will show the wear and tear of a thousand days spent outside soaking up the sun, playing tag, mowing the lawn - making memories. My body will be a walking museum that I will carry on my skin with pride, no matter how others choose to view those exhibits.

I'm skirting around what's really up with me today.  I'll be honest - I am having a bad day. I didn't really sleep last night too much and I woke up several times, I was here at work by 6:15 (AM), I've already worked a 50+ hour week and I'm going to be here until at least five tonight. I'm exhausted and my heart hurts. Last night something happens and suffice it to say...I'm really sad right now.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalm 34:18

That verse is my solace for the moment, that and:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." - Jesus  (as quoted in Joshua 1:9)

This might come out sounding a little bit silly, but it's what my tired mind is putting together today. My heart is hurting as a result of things that have happened as time passed. I like to avoid pain and heartache for that exact reason - because it is painful and makes me feel bad. But to me, it's like cellulite. My heart is no longer in the perfect condiiton it was in when I was born, you know? I have cellulite of the heart, if you will.

I want to view all that heartache and pain and things that my heart goes through with grace - both for the heartache I've inflicted on myself and on others as well as any that others have brought to me. Part of life is that hard things happen but that doesn't make my heart any less beautiful, just like cellulite doesn't make a person any less beautriful. Heartache is normal, just like cellulite. It comes as a collection of time and experiences, of life being lived. Right now I'm just trying to get myself through today trying to accept my heart in the condition it is by giving myself grace to accept it the way that it is - cellulite and all.

My heart is a museum of the life that I have lived - it is a collection of joys as well as a record of the scars life has left behind and I don't want a museum without the whole story.

I accept you, cellulite. Bumps and all.

Let's Talk About PORN: Part 1

**Sorry about the sound quality in the middle...kind of.**

Let's Talk About

PORN

PART 1

If you watched that video and still are maybe not convinced women watch porn and are wanting to know about it, Google search it. "Christian Men and Porn" turned up 58,200,000 results and "Christian Women and Porn" netted 55,600,000 - this isn't just a mans battle!

Maybe you watched this and felt some judgment towards me or someone else - I totally accept that. I'm a pretty judgmental person myself and I can handle that for a lot of people, things involving sexuality, like porn, can be a touchy subject. Ever since I went to Colorado, it has really been on my heart that it is time for me to be honest - God sort of revealed a little bit to me this afternoon that something special about me is that He has given me  a bravery to be open and honest about the things on my heart and in my life that I struggle with and that sharing those things with you are one of the ways He uses me.

Anyway, like I said at the end of that video - for our first talk about Porn? I think this went pretty well. :)

Video Mentions:

"Nobody admits it, but statistics don't lie, and it says "everybody" is watching porn. Investigators say 30 percent of all web traffic is porn. The porn site, Xvideos, receives a staggering 4.4 billion page views and 350 million unique visitors per month." - Digital Journal

Pornography Time Stats - Click here.

"Restore" - Chris August (video about his song, "Restore")

Some verses about "Restoration"

Why I Went to Colorado

"Though we may fear the test, at the same time we yearn to be tested, to discover that we have what it takes."             
                                                     - Captivating









Words and phrases that really stuck out to me personally and spoke to my heart:
- Journey
- To be romanced
- Irreplaceable
- Fierce
- Needed desperately
- Passionate
- Powerful
- Beautiful warrior
- Full of grace
- Unashamed in her desire to delight and be delighted in
- Beauty unveiled
- A desire to be captivating in the depths of who you are
- Glorious
- Enthralling
- Mystery worth unveiling
- Intricately intimate


"Even to see her walk across the room is a liberal education." - C.S. Lewis

"You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
You belong with your love on your arm
You belong somewhere you feel free."
 - Tom Petty

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. - Proverbs 4:23



"...woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. That's what makes a woman come alive." - Captivating

"In our heart of hearts, that place where we are most ourselves, we don't want to run away for very long." - Captivating

"We long to be an irreplaceable part of a shared adventure." - Captivating

The King is enthralled by your beauty. - Psalm 45:11

"We desire to posses a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. We want beauty that can be felt; beauty that affects others, a beauty all our own to unveil."
 - Captivating


Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention:
Forget your people and your fathers house.
Let the King be enthralled by your beauty;
honor him, for he is your Lord.
- Psalm 45:10-11

God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
- Psalm 46:5

"You can find life - if you are willing to embark on a great adventure." - Captivating