Where's God?

Look at the sky.

Do you ever take the time to sit and admire?

I know I don't. Who has the time to sit and admire anything, right? Anyway, it's just the sky up there. Nothing you haven't seen before. Some clouds - couple of cumulonimbus and what not floating around. Little sunshine - no big deal.

Normally I don't really pay a whole lot of attention to it myself, I'm focused on getting to my next class, on whatever needs to be done next. And this morning wasn't any different, and I was self-pitying a little bit this morning. Then I decided that I was sick and tired of my poor attitude.

This is what was so great - I got to be totally ego-centric for a little bit. It was great.

Here's what I thought -

God painted a beautiful sky not so the clouds would have something to do with their lives, he didn't grow the grass to make the sidewalk look less ugly. He painted the world with beautiful colors for me to enjoy. God didn't have to add color - we could all look like 'I Love Lucy' with flaming red hair that no one could even admire because it was still gray like everyone else.

God made the Earth for me to enjoy.

And you. Think about that! What man (or woman) ever did something like that for you? No one! We are talking something so vast you can't comprehend how big it is. This is an artwork you could explore for the rest of your life and still never see it all. There are whole galaxies God created for our viewing pleasure and admiration.  The world is like a giant Where's Waldo game only you see God. And He is in everything you see.

I don't know what your day, your week, or your life is like.  You might be in the middle of something really hard or just need a little pick me up.  But I'm challenging you to get outside that feeling that your problems are bigger than the world, that they are bigger than God, and look around you. Sometimes it's hard to see God - but if you look close enough, you'll be able to find Him in everything.


He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
   I will be exalted among the nations,
   I will be exalted in the earth.”
                       Psalms 46:10

Love Like That

Can I just say how thankful I am that God is always willing to help me see beyond my own little world of sometimes self-pity to see the Brightside? He never runs out of new revelations to show me. I think that is one of the things I’m enjoying most in my life right now – the way I’m getting to know myself as God shows me new things. 

It’s really cool to meet yourself – a version of you that you actually treasure. I think it’s pretty rare, and I am so thankful that I’m getting to experience that. I hear some people never do, and that makes me sad.

Even though I’m crazy busy these days between being a student, an RA, a friend, a sister, a daughter, and study leader, I’m still somehow finding time to fit in thinking about guys every now and then. It’s coming up on a year now since I’ve dated anybody, so I find myself thinking a lot about my future in the area of dating. And here’s what I came up with today. 

I was writing a letter to my dear friend Stephanie Banks (Spoiler alert Steph: You’re getting a letter from me, and you now know part of what’s in it) and it somehow wound up with me talking about being loved by a man.  I got so excited about it, because rarely ever do I see past the shallow dating  “relationships” that are so typical in our culture these days, that thinking in this way just blew me out of the water. Here’s what I ended up writing:

“I can’t wait to watch some Godly man fall head over heels for you and your sweet spirit.  And that love that is coming – for you and whomever boy – to love Christ so much that you love each other as Christ loves you. Just trying to grasp how beautiful and pure and so worth the heart-ache and waiting that kind of love can be is so mind-blowing.”

And I found myself thinking – “Wow. What would it be like to actually love someone and be loved in return by them as Christ loves us.”  That isn’t something you see in relationships and marriage very often.  The concept of caring for your significant other like Christ, and to be loved and cared for back like that? It’s an incredible thought.

That’s what I want. To love someone as Christ loves me. I don’t want to focus on a million little qualities – “Does he love his mom, is he romantic, will he make me breakfast in bed and bring me frappe’s when I’m having a bad day?” – No! Christ is not a self-focused person! I don’t want my goal to be – ‘How can my significant other make my life better?’ I want to be caught up in loving him as Christ loves me and doing everything I can to show him that every day in everything that I do! I don’t want to be a selfish, scolding woman (Better to live on the corner of a roof than share a house with a quarrelsome woman – Proverbs 25:24). I want to be a joy to him. I want to be a woman who dares to dream with him instead of tells him to be realistic – who encourages him to take chances and be a man of Christ that dares to do what most men won’t.

Lord, I know that this kind of love is rare. But I know it is out there. I know it isn’t a perfect thing – only You are perfect. But I know there is more out there than the shell of marriage and relationship that “culture” shows me. There is something real and deep that you created that is real and deep and beautiful.

I want a love like that.

Feelings

Ever since my Freshman year of high school I have had a desire to lead a Bible study.  Did I ever lead one during my four years in high school? No. I was too scared of being rejected and ridiculed, and that is one of my biggest regrets. The more I get to know myself the more I realize that I have to offer people. So I did it.

I took the plunge.

Now, this might not seem like the ideal time to begin leading a Bible study. Being a new RA and a sophomore, my plate is already pretty much overflowing. But if I've learned anything in the past few months about God, it is that if I trust Him enough to jump into the unknown knowing He's leading me, even if I have no idea what I'm doing, He catches me and carries me through.

He has never failed me.

So last night was the first study meeting.  It was me and four other girls, which was ideal for my expectations because I wanted to keep the study small.  Here's the thing about our study. I don't want to call it a "Bible Study" because technically we aren't actually studying a book in the Bible. I'll be teaching (teaching is a little strong...maybe sharing is a better word - I'm not much of a qualified teacher) from a book called Lies Women Believe. For some crazy reason, I turned the whole night into a very feelings-oriented deal. And from that, our name was born.

We don't call it a Bible study.

We call it Feelings.

God will never fail to amaze me with the sets of circumstances He places in my life to lead the places I wind up.  I was a little bit worried that no one would want to share and that the ideas I was bringing to the table would be rejected as stupid. However, God wasn't just working in my heart as Feelings began. Every girl shared so openly about her life. I couldn't believe it. Four girls and I, most of whom don't know each other very well were able to open and share about some of the hardest things they are dealing with right now. 

It was just an incredible blessing and encouragement to see the potential Feelings has, and I can't explain how greatful I am that God gave me the courage to lead this.

Let me encourage you now - if there is something in the back of your mind urging you to try something - maybe it isn't lead a study group, maybe it's forgiveness of someone who has hurt you, maybe it's to get rid of something in your life - whatever.

Act on it.

Don't wait four years to act on it until you are sure it is a "safe" time to do it.

Feelings is focused on uncovering lies we believe as women, and as we do that, we are discovering the chains we have in our lives that are keeping us from being free.

Don't wait to be free from whatever makes up your chains now.

God has freedom for you now.

That's what my Feelings group is reaching for -  you can reach for it too.