Spring Break?

One more day of classes and then - SPRING BREAK!

This was my initial plan to have a blissful break -
1) Go home
2) Sleep
3)Not do any homework
4)Babysit a lot of babies **Morgan - this is where I break the news that I'm going to have to rain-check on babysitting. Tell the baby to stop growing until I get there!**
5)Relax.

That was going really well until last Friday. I was at a CRU hosted swing dance when one of my friends approached me with the idea of going to Panama City in Florida for a mission trip spring break. My knee-jerk reaction was no way, definitely not, nothing sounds less appealing. Nothing doing. But he told me a little more, mainly that no one had signed up, and that CRU would pay almost my whole way. I said I would consider it, but didn't actually mean it.

Five minutes passed, and I was still thinking about it.  And not only was I thinking about it, I was feeling sick over it. This typically happens, I've learned, when I'm about to battle out something I don't want to do, but usually know I should.  My friend Stephanie and I retreated to a quiet laundry room to pray for a few minutes because I was freaking out. Me? Mission trip? Panama City? Why me?!

And we prayed. I went first, and basically while I was praying, I realized something which you can see just from reading my past few blogs. I have been asking God to push me out of my comfort zone (this definitely qualifies), I've been asking - What next? What now?

That was all well and good, but I was still freaking out.  Immediately all the different reasons (I use that term loosely) I should not go to Panama City, especially not on a mission trip.
1) People might reject me (One of my own friends here at UNL said this when I told her about the trip - "Seriously? Because if someone walked up to me on the beach during spring break to tell me about Jesus, I'd punch them in the face. So watch your face."
2) I am unqualified. Who in their right mind would listen to me? Who am I that I should talk about Jesus to people I don't know?
3) I am unworthy. If I knew me, I wouldn't want to listen to a word I had to say.
4) My little sister had a dinner concert and state speech to attend over break, I was planning to spend a few days in Wayne with my best friend Sharra, and my little brother had a math competition I wanted to go to.
5) All I wanted to do over break was hold babies.
6) (This is my favorite reason, and I quote directly from my thought process)
"Lord, all I have is a bikini. I can't wear a bikini on a mission trip. I'm immodest, clearly I shouldn't go."

Legitimate reasons, right? I know they aren't, but I sure tried to come up with some. If only CRU hadn't offered to pay for some, then I could have hemmed and hawed about finances being tight. So I stayed up until 2:30-3 wrestling with what to do, praying, reading my Bible and such. Finally I was so exhausted I couldn't take it, and went to bed with the decision that if it was alright with the people I had made plans with already to skip and go, I would.  Of course, this was a sneaky (hopefully I somehow snuck it past God..riiiight) fool-proof plan because anyone who knows first, my best friend Sharra, and then my little sister Carol, knows that they are serious drama queens (love 'em both, but it's the truth) and would flip completely out on me bailing on such important events.

Morning comes - first step, talk to Sharra. Who supported me 110%. I believe I looked at the cieling and was like, really, God? Really? Now she decides to be normal and not freak out and be dramatic and selfish? Now? **Disclaimer: Sharra, I know you are going to read this, and you know I love you =)**
Ok, well, luckily Carol would surely freak out. Her show choir and speech are super important to her and I'd been promising to attend them forever.
What do you know about that. Carol was more supportive and enthusiastic than Sharra.
Mom didn't pass out - just had parental/safety concerns, which was normal.
So did Dad.
And my little brother (surprise, surprise) didn't really care.

I was fast running out of excuses. So, last resort, I start paging through my Bible, hoping for something to say I should not break promises or something that clearly said I should not go to Florida. Here's what I found:

1) Isaiah's Commission in Isaiah chapter 6
2) The story of Jonah
3) The Greatest Commandment:
  "Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your sould and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' "
 - Matthew 22:37-39

Alrighty then - who am I to argue with the greatest commandment?

So this Friday (March 18th), I'll be starting the 20-hour drive to Florida with a bunch of boys (another - why me? moment..) that I don't really know to meet up with hundreds of other believers and I guess 'preach on the beach' as the trip has been nick-named by some of my more skeptical friends.
Lord - I'm taking my pepper spray, but I'm only 130 lbs. Protect me, I am rape-bait. And don't let my delicate (Ha!) ego be completely crushed.

Oh yeah - and please protect my face.