I'm taking an intro to women and gender studies and spent several hours today working with two other girls on a presentation entitled "Pretty is Power." Our thesis being -
"The
prettier, the
sexier a woman, the
more powerful she is."
My views were considerably more conservative than theirs were, both of them openly embracing the era of casual sex that we are unfortunately living in, and it has set me to thinking. Sometimes, I'll admit, I catch myself thinking that there is not that much of a difference between a woman serving Christ and a woman serving herself. That there isn't too much of a difference between a christian and a non-christian. Maybe it's because I've never really made a thorough comparison, because as of today, I can see some very major differences in our views and opinions.
Yes, I completely, 100% agree that a beautiful, "sexy" woman like Beyonce, Rihanna or J-Lo has incredible power. They did not get to where they are now (Beyonce ranks #18 on Forbes top 100 list of most influential women) without a little, or a lot, of sex appeal. There is no denying that sex sells.
Here is what I think - not based on statistics, not based off of a music video or an advertisement, but from my own life experience and my own thoughts and opinions.
There is no denying that sex sells - but what the media denies is that
sex does not bring fulfillment. It isn't very economically sound to tell your audience that
by not telling you the whole truth they are telling you a
whole lot of lies.
Millions of adds advertise that their product is "guaranteed" to fix this, lift that, erase those, but there are no adds that "guaranteed to fix every thing wrong with you!" Sure, you might be able to "erase" your acne, as guaranteed, or build great abs, protect yourself from STDS, or even prevent conception. But no add linked to sex promises to fix your whole life - guaranteed. There are no adds for after the sex - for the loneliness, the abuse, the dissatisfaction that follows when sex is used outside of God's boundaries.
Be real - I'll go first. I'll be the first to admit (maybe not on a stage, but at least here on my blog) that I am not a totally inexperienced woman when it comes to things sexual. People make mistakes and I happen to count myself as a person. I have (and still will) make mistakes. I can tell firsthand that when those things go on outside of marriage they
do not fulfill, they
do not satisfy.
Sex and being sexy is not a bad thing. God created sex to be an enjoyable, beautiful thing. God made women to be beautiful but not for us to flaunt it, not for us to use as a means to an end, not as some sort of economic capital to be traded for our wants or for us to try and gain love and acceptance. I haven't always believed that, but I'm listening to God more these days and trying to believe what He tells me. That I am valuable not because I am a woman with sexual appearance and capabilities. Yes, pretty is power. And I strongly believe that Christ has created a husband for me (where he's at right now, I have absolutely no idea) who is going to truly appreciate all my beauty and "sexiness." As a woman of Christ, with His help I'm going to try my hardest to save us both a whole lot of heartache and trust God that not giving in to those temptations and lusts is going to best for my marriage in the long run.
Sex outside of marriage is a huge stumbling block that lots of people, me included, has already stumbled over or is trapped in right now. This isn't an "us" (Christians) and "them" (Non-Christian) struggle only, it isn't like only "other" people struggle with sexual temptation. This is something that has been swept under the carpet too long. I'm tired of hearing cutesy, struggle-free testimonies of Christians who just meditate on Bible verses and that way they don't struggle sexually. That isn't realistic.
Christians should talk about this. I do.
